So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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