There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
