Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
