Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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