hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
