i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
