Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
