don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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