I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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