it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
