yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
