i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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