i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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