I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
