I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
