WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
