party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize