I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
