How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
