I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
