I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
