Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
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Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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