i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
