There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
