Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
