Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
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Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
im on a boat
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