Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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