'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
