Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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