ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's the barista slut.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
