I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
