And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
