She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
