Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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