That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
