Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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