i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
