I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
