i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
