I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
