Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
