I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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