Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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