Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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