He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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