But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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