I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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