Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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