is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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