I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
