Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
