so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
