Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
