just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
