Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
